If one plants an orchard on a chemical dump without first digging it out and replacing it with good soil, it will produce poisonous fruit. Similarly, the spiritual traveller who harbours vile character in his heart cannot go very far in the path until he addresses it.
This lesson works on two key fundamentals of akhlaq or good character: establishing the prayer and holding one's temper. It consists of forty days in a row of doing these two things.
I. During this lesson (and each of the subsequent muraqaba lessons), if one delays any of the five obligatory prayers (including witr, if one is Hanafi) past its valid time by, for example, sleeping through the dawn prayer until sunrise unless there is a valid excuse such as one's monthly period or joining two prayers for travel or rain it immediately vitiates the forty days and one must return to begin them again from day one, and then finish from there. Its ongoing relation to subsequent lessons is explained in the last section of this lesson.
II. The same is true of showing anger towards others for the sake of ones nafs or ego, which also vitiates the forty days, and necessitates they be begun again and finished out in a row. Now, anger is part of the human soul which Allah has created with a pearl of divine wisdom, and this lesson is not vitiated by using it in its proper place, such as in jihad against the enemies of Allah to render His Word paramount; or jihad against one's spiritual enemies: the ego (nafs), caprice (hawa), this world (dunya), the Devil; or jihad against the bad and false (batil) when one's intention is purely for Allah. This lesson is only vitiated by anger that is unacceptable by the standards of Sacred Law and hence the spiritual path. From ancient times, sages have observed that anger takes what it wants at the price of soul, and tantrums have always been regarded as the opposite of spirituality. In an earlier day, what was termed rage in men was called hysteria in women, while in modern times some manifestations of it have been dignified with names like road-rage. When the smoke clears, however, the problem is much the same: people who think it is acceptable to act like spoiled brats. Allah does not accept this. Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haytami has listed anger for the sake of one's ego as an enormity in al-Zawajir, his work on major sins. A man came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and said, Advise me. He replied 'Don't get angry'. The man repeated himself several times, but the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) only said: Don't get angry (Bukhari, 8.35: 6116. S). The ulema of Sacred Law interpret this hadith figuratively, as meaning to refrain from the bad consequences of anger: saying or doing what comes to mind when angry. This is the work of this lesson. The sheikhs of the path, however, interpret the hadith literally, saying that the cause of anger for the sake of the ego is haughtiness (kibr), which is itself unlawful, and one of the most imperative of things to get rid of in the spiritual path. To do this, one must be able to discern whether ones anger is for oneself and one's ego, as is common, or is for the sake of Allah or ones fellow man, as is rare. Only anger for the sake of Allah or ones fellow man is acceptable during this lesson, while anger for oneself and one's ego if one exceeds the bounds, interrupts the lesson and necessitates beginning again. The outward signs of anger for the ego that breaks the continuity of this lesson may be summarized in the following guidelines and examples, from which similar cases may be judged.
Things that Break the Forty Grand if Done Three Times
(1) The Forty Grand is broken by three separate occurrences of verbal anger within forty days, verbal anger for this lesson meaning raising ones voice more than four sentences. As soon as one begins the fifth sentence with a raised voice, flushed face, or threatening or indignant manner, it is an instance of verbal anger. Its first occurrence in forty days is a warning from Allah to control oneself. The second is ones last chance. The third vitiates the lesson. Nagging or scolding also constitutes a single occurrence of verbal anger if accompanied by a raised voice, vehemence, or angry recriminations but not if it is mere low-key whining, though the latter is unbecoming and effeminate from men, annoying and useless from women, and almost always detrimental to the affection and respect that should exist between two people, whether husband and wife or parent and child. When one is debating or contesting a point with someone at work, home, or other venues in which an occasional debate is customary and serves a genuine purpose, some excitedness is normal and does not amount to an instance of verbal anger in such circumstances unless it results in impugning the others person, as opposed to his mistaken words or beliefs or actions. Impugning the reason why someone is saying something does not vitiate the lesson if it is significant to the discussion and done without vehemence or rancour. If one has been wronged by someone and is angrily getting it off one's chest to a third party, then if there is no palpable benefit or improvement that the listener is capable of rendering besides listening, it is slander (ghiba), and as such is unlawful (haram) and necessitates repentance, though it does not break the forty days unless the person being badly talked about is present.
(2) The lesson is broken by three occurrences of anger that results in insult, ridicule, vituperation, cutting remarks, taunts, gibes, quarrelling, lying accusations, unfair exaggerations, or slamming doors.
(3) Disciplining or raising one's voice at children or others under ones authority only constitutes an instance of anger (of which three breaks the Forty Grand) when done out of anger for the sake of the ego; for example, when purely out of indignation at an affront to one's authority, or similar egotistical motive. It does not vitiate the forty days if done sincerely for their sake, or the general betterment of the state or situation. For example, if a mother is angry and yells at her son because he might hurt himself by doing the like of it, this would not break the lesson, because it is for the child's sake, not her own. If her motive is mixed, but at least some of it is for the child's welfare, it also does not break the lesson. It is only broken by purely self-centred anger.
(4) The same applies to standing up in anger, when necessary, to a bullying supervisor, husband, wife, or other: it must be intended, at least in part, for their good, not merely to vindicate oneself or put the other person in their place. To decide what one's motive was, here or in (3) above, one must look carefully at what was in one's heart at the moment the action came to mind.
(5) Whenever the unacceptable occurrences of anger mentioned in (1), (2), (3), or (4) add up together to three times during forty days, they break the lesson.
Things That Break the Forty Grand Immediately
(6) The Forty Grand is also vitiated by a single occurrence of such things as angrily breaking or throwing or destroying things, blows, vulgarity, cursing, spitting, or other typical elements of tantrums. Or refusing to talk to someone out of anger and not making up and returning to civil words within twenty-four hours if they live in the same house, or three days if they live elsewhere. Or deliberately harming another's person or property, whether outwardly angry or not. Or deliberately doing something that they take great offence at, such as walking out or hanging upon them. Curing One's Anger Problem
The following measures should be used to eliminate bad temper:
(a) To feel disgusted at the antics of the nafs for having committed an act of disobedience to Allah for the sake of nothing.
(b) To sincerely ask Allah's help in overcoming anger. The sunna is to say Audhu bi Llahi min ash-Shaytani r-Rajim (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Devil). Abu Madyan has said, Whoever does not seek Allah's help against his ego will be out-wrestled by it. It is also of the sunna to make ablution (wudu) if angry; or if walking, to stand still; or if standing, to sit down; or sitting, to lie back.
(c) To implacably persist in this lesson. Return to it again and again until you have the nafs in hand and can control it: eventually, it will give up. Note that if one pretends to be cool-headed and persists in pretending to be so, Allah eventually disposes of the heart to be that way. For centuries, Sufis have used such takalluf or pretending to first imitate, then approximate, and then attain the qualities they have sought.
(d) To eat the food of the righteous if possible, and avoid eating in restaurants. Food that is prepared in heedlessness of Allah (ghafla) and eaten in heedlessness of Allah produces heedlessness of Allah. What is atmosphere to restauranteurs and patrons is heedlessness to those of Allah. Whose hands prepare food matters, and how many a murid has stumbled because of food, without knowing what hit him. No one whose heart is alive should go to restaurants unless he is travelling or under other exceptional circumstance. At a merely physical level, fried foods and salty foods angry up the blood. One should be aware of what one is doing to oneself. The Relation of the Forty Grand to Other Muraqaba Lessons While engaged in any lesson from Lesson One through Lesson Six, if one vitiates the Forty Grand during the lesson, for example by missing any prayer that is fard or wajib (the latter meaning the witr of Hanafis) or exceeding the bounds of anger, this immediately vitiates the lesson that one is on. In such a case, one must return to repeat the Forty Grand while at the same time praying salat al-tawba for any of the seven sins that happen during the Forty after which one begins again the lesson that one was on when one vitiated the Forty Grand. If one were working on Lesson Three, for example, and one vitiated the Forty Grand, one would have to go back and repeat the Forty Grand and then start Lesson Three over again from the first day of Lesson Three. The reverse, however, is not true: vitiating the lesson that one is on, for example, by spoiling Lesson One with one of the seven things, does not vitiate the Forty Grand, but only necessitates going back to the first day of Lesson One.
To say it again, vitiating the Forty Grand during any lesson necessitates repeating the Forty Grand and then starting that particular lesson over again, but vitiating a lesson does not necessitate repeating the Forty Grand.
Through Allah's help and grace, may our task be blessed with tawfiq. Ameen...
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